• I Have Social Anxiety and Have to Go To a Wedding Alone + More…

    It’s Friday again, party people. Can you believe it? Seriously, the past 7 flew by in a flash. The last weekend of July is here! Makes me wanna scream!

    Anyway, it’s also time for a new episode of #JustAskLo to drop so here it is, QUEENS. I’ve gotten some outstanding, meaningful questions from all of you and just want to say that this week’s episode may be my favorite so far. I’m fielding question regarding social anxiety, having anxiety about moving on after the death of a lover, and how to create a beauty routine if you’re starting from scratch. My video remarks are at the bottom of this post with the questions below edited for clarity and length. Product recs are below the video!


    Question 1:

    “I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding for a sorority sister next year. I’m honored but also having a lot of anxiety about joining her on her special day. I don’t know a soul at the wedding except the bride herself, and I’m traveling alone to a different state and staying by myself at a hotel. In a larger city I’m okay on my own, but this is a small town and I’m worried about being lonely.

    I struggle with depression and anxiety and at night it’s always magnified when I’m lonely and the thought of being alone at my hotel makes me anxious as well. The wedding will be over by mid-afternoon so I’ll be spending a lot of time after it alone with nothing to do. I’m single so no chance of getting a plus one. I don’t want to add more stress to the bride’s life by asking for a date. What should I do?”


    Question 2:

    “Six months ago by fiance passed away. We were together for 4 years and he suffered from addition. The past 2 years of our relationship were not good because of this and we had no plans to move forward with our wedding. I tried leaving him multiple times but he always came back. I gave up everything for him because he was my main concern at all times, so much so that I lost track of myself.

    Three months ago and ex-boyfriend of mine got in touch and we’ve been spending a lot of time together. It seems perfect and too good to be true. We broke up previously because we were at different places in our lives but we’ve both grown a lot for the better. He is everything I want in a lifelong partner. We’ve discussed moving in together recently and we’re on the same page.

    My issue is that I worry that our friends and family will think we are moving too fast, especially after what I’ve been through. How can I get over the fear of wondering what others think? I have anxiety and attribute it to worrying about how others perceive the situation. How can I stop myself from worrying about what others think of me?”


    Question 3:

    “I’m 27 years old and have never been a girly girl. I wear makeup once every two weeks, if that. I don’t wear it to to work or to grab dinner with friends. I don’t feel that I look beautiful without makeup, I’m just lazy and unskilled in that area. I wash my face with water, but that’s pretty much the extent of it.

    The reason I’d like to start putting myself together a bit more is that I think it will make me feel good, and I wouldn’t mind attracting some men! I want to look like I’m trying, because I know it must seem like I don’t care about my appearance very much at all.

    Any suggestions on how to start a good beauty and skincare routine? Products you recommend? Also, if you have tips on how to put yourself out there too that would be great.”


     


    PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS:

    CETAPHILSKINMEDICA SPFRETINOLGLOSSIER MOISTURIZER

    COVERGIRL MASCARACONCEALER – BOYBROW

  • #JustAskLo: I Love Him But I’m Not IN Love With Him

    Today on a brand new episode of #JustAskLo, I’m answering viewer’s questions regarding how to move on from an old ex, if moving in with your partner before being engaged is the right decision, and finally if you love someone but you’re not IN LOVE with them (and you’re only 21), should you stay in the relationship?


     

  • #JustAskLo: How Do I Stop Comparing Myself to My Friends?

    Welcome to today’s episode of #JustAskLo, pals! Remember, if you have an advice question you can submit them right here and I may answer it on an upcoming show. I really appreciate the support and the subscribes, so if you’re just checking me out for the first time, I hope you get down with what I’m giving out!

    Today I’m talking about friendship – the women who wrote in asking for help having questions regarding people in their lives they’re worried about, and people in their lives that make them feel inferior, and friends that are so beautiful that it’s driving one woman a little cuckoo. Dive right into the questions below (edited for clarity and length) and the video at the bottom of this post!



    My best friend of 13 years is married to a man (5 years now) who makes all her decisions and railroads her at every corner. She always wanted to be with a wealthy guy who could give her the world and she found it in him, but he’s a complete jerk to her and love is blind. She had her wish list for a house and the one they bought had not one thing on her list, but everything on his. Same scenario with a new car they bought: she wanted one brand but they of course left with another. 

    I see the strong, opinionated, self-sufficient girl I’ve known for years slowly die and this shell of a woman replacing her. She married for money and I married for love and it breaks my heart to see how broken she is. No idea how to give her a hint here and there to stand up to her husband.

    -Katie


    My question has to do with self-confidence and acceptance of where I am in this particular point in my life in comparison to my friends. To put it simply, I feel like a total loser right now. I just turned 30 and am currently living at home because I’m in graduate school and can’t afford my own place yet. I feel like I am behind everyone that is my age, or even younger than me. My friends are basically all married, having kids, or buying their own homes and I literally feel so far from that.

    I recently went through the worst depressive episode I’ve ever experienced and deal with anxiety on a daily basis. I feel like my life is a waiting game. I hate answering people when they ask me “so, what do you do?” and “where are you living these days?” I just want to start working and get my life going, but until that happens, I feel really embarrassed about living at home and that I don’t have a serious job. I’m so embarrassed with letting someone know the real me right now that I turn everyone who is interested down.

    I just want to be happy again and enjoy things again. How should I navigate this weird period in my life?

    -Kathryn


     

    I am 31 years old, living in The Netherlands and am happily married to the most wonderful (and handsome!) man in the world. I have a really nice job as an Account Manager in fashion, so overall I am very happy. The problem I find I have is that it’s difficult to appreciate myself. I work with, and always have really beautiful girls around me. I feel fat and ugly compared to them all the time.

    I ask them what they eat, how much they exercise, what their weight is, and where they shop so that I can be a little more like them instead of looking at myself and accepting that I’m not a size zero and may not be the prettiest or most fashionable girl in my group.

    I’d like some advice on how to feel happier with myself, and not throw away the most beautiful years of my life due to insecurities. This problem is affecting my life badly everyday. Help!

    -Anonymous


  • #JustAskLo: I’m Hung Up on My Ex But I Have a New Boyfriend + More

    UM HI! Today marks the first day of #JustAskLo hittin’ the World Wide Web and I couldn’t be more excited. I received so, so many emails from readers with their advice questions and I just wanted to say “thanks big time” before diving right into today’s content. I’m going to answer 3 emails per episode every Friday unless you guys want more or less so keep me posted on what you think of the length of the video and the content.

    Today’s 3 questions are below and edited for length and clarity. My video response is at the bottom of the post. This episode is all about love, laziness, and a BIG problem at work…

    I’m searching for advice on my relationship. I was recently in a 2.5 year relationship with a guy that ended due to multiple issues. I thought I was over it and have started dating something new who is wonderful, but I still find myself thinking about my old guy and wondering if we made the right choice. My ex has also expressed the same thought to me (that he still thinks about me a lot and can’t fully move on). Is this nostalgia or did we truly make a mistake by ending it? Maybe I’m just looking for a better version of him in my new beau? Any help would be appreciated. – Mary


    Have you ever heard the quote ‘live the life you’ve imagined’? Everyday I wake up and try to live by that. I’m 32, married for 6 years, my hubs and I own a house and I have a full-time job as a teacher. I love my summer break but I tend to get a little anxious during it. I’m stuck in a cycle of wanting downtime to relax but then during the downtime getting stressed out that I’m not doing enough. I’m the opposite of a Type-A personality but because I’m so laid back, my life can easily become one big game of catching up. I put the ‘pro’ in ‘procrastinate’. I can avoid exercise, not eating healthy, cleaning the house or walking the dogs for 4 or 5 days then overwhelm myself when I finally kick my butt into gear. I’m so overwhelmed that I’ve begun to feel like I’ll never find my balance in life. What should I do? – Kreisa 


    I’m 26 years old and need your advice. Today at work we got a new manager and I come to discover it’s my ex-boyfriend from 5 years ago. He came up to me and apologized for everything he did to me back then, including cheating on me with other women. I have had a new boyfriend for 3 years and even though I’ve moved on it’s still really awkward for me to see my ex everyday. How do I proceed? I don’t want to quit my job because of him. – Victoria


     

  • I’m Finished With Soul-Sucking Content

    Hey there, pal. Hope you’re well rested, sippin’ on something herbal and maybe even getting a little sunshine in your life. Truth be told, every time I sit down to write I have you, my reader, on my mind. I’ve been sharing my personal journey, pains, tremendous moments of happiness, and some general mediocrity with you a lot but lately it leads me to wonder what’s going on with you in your life. What is it that you want from me (besides this article of word vomit)?

    The type of content I’ve been creating lately, content that’s authentic and meaningful (at least for me), seems to be causing a positive stir within my audience and even close friends. The outreach across my email, YT channel, and Instagram DMs has been truly inspiring and healing for me. Your response makes me know in my heart that I’m doing the right thing by moving towards real life shit like How to Heal a Broken Heart rather than a Style Guide with Sunglasses for Summer. Like, read Refinery29 if you need that info (not a knock on R29 – I love them – I just don’t want to be the one to write it). I’m simply done creating content that sucks my soul. Just done. Good-bye.

    Don’t worry mutual lovers of lifestyle and beauty…I’m still going to speak extensively on my love for beauty products and make-up because I have this deep, churning passion for things of this nature but why not spice this stuff up so that it’s way more raspberry swirl than plain old vanilla?  The black goo at the end of a mascara wand truly touches me inside in a curiously meaningful way so why not share what it’s like to feel confidence from a special product as I flaunt my lashes on a first date?

    Yes, I’m still going to cook my heart out on Instagram Stories and when I feel like it share those recipes on TheLoDown. I LOVE TO COOK. It gives me LIFE, literally and figuratively. Nothing more authentic than sharing one of my deepest passions with you. And YES, I’m going to continue creating meaningful wellness content that shares what I’m trying out in real life, love it or hate it, then passing the good word on to you.

    These days, I’m fixated on REAL LIFE content instead of the #SocialMediaLife and even though it can feel a bit scary to expose myself in a more personal way, I also find that for the first time in a long time, I feel good about myself and what I’m doing. I love my new #MindMatters series on YouTube in which I speak candidly about anxiety, stress, depression, and mental illness. It’s so FREEING to be able to get this stuff out of my brain and into the world. If you’ve seen some of those videos, THANK YOU for watching and thank you for the words of encouragement. I’m not hiding anymore. I’m over it. I don’t care what people think. YOUR support keeps me motivated to keep #MindMatters going!

    And tomorrow, I’m dropping my first #JustAskLo video in a new advice series that will air every Friday on my channel. I’m taking your questions now and forever, so send them here, leave a comment on the video below, or slide into my DMs. I can’t wait to bring this new series to life with your help. I hope it’s as meaningful to you as it is for me.

     

  • TheLoDown