[title subtitle=”(a.k.a. the danish word for poop)”]Before Anyone Else[/title] Not quite sure what to get your significant other? No worries, Paula Ho, single as eff, is here to tell you what she’d love to receive from someone special. In fact, she ever-so-neatly and ever-so-patiently categorized the list, for your convenience, into the 5 common types of “Baes”. While doing so, she learned that “Bae” is an acronym for “before anyone else” and is also the Danish word for poop. Ah, love, amiright?

Enough of her babbling in third person. Here are some of her dope picks for your pile of shit Bae! 😉


The “Nerdy” Bae

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How does that saying go again? Books before looks? Here are some of my favorite tried-and-true 2015 Best Sellers guaranteed to make your bookworm all the more fuzzy, warm, and intellectually satisfied.

The “Lazy” Bae

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You got Bae Netflix last year and Hulu the year before? Tragic. Here are some heavy-duty life essentials for the love who refuses to get out of bed.

The “High Maintenance” Bae

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The Bae that takes hours to get ready? I got you. Here are some worthy excuses for her to spend that extra hour in the bathroom. I mean, what’s the difference, right? You’ve already waited for two. At least now you know she’ll smell even more divine.

The “Athletic” Bae

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Ah yes, my favorite kind of Bae. The kind that gets up to exercise regardless of the weather. The Bae we all secretly aspire to be and the Bae our Baes deserve.

The “I-Refuse-to-Be-Stereotyped” Bae

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Your Bae doesn’t like to be labeled? He or she is truly unique, unconventional, and special? Get her that Kim card. I know you’ve been eye-ing it. Trust me, you gotta love her like Kanye loves Kanye. It’s the only way it’ll really work.


Photography via Murad Osmann